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Family & Friends


The family and friends of gays are a very important support network. Get answers to questions about your gay loved one or find out how you can get involved in the community.




LGBT: Family & Friends of

When you learn that a friend is gay, you may experience surprise or shock. A person you thought you knew so well turns out to be gay. You may be upset that they kept this from you or you may wonder if you can continue the friendship, now that you know the truth.
It's okay to express surprise to your friend. If you pretend like you're not surprised, or you try to hide the way you�re feeling, your friend is going to see through you. On the other hand, you owe it to your friend to offer your support, even if you have to push yourself in that direction. It may help to think of your friend's gayness as being neither good nor bad, but simply the way it is - like being left-handed in a mostly right-handed world.
Even if you believe that homosexuality is "wrong", your friend stands nothing to gain from your harsh disapproval - he or she will only feel more rejected and unloved. Bear in mind that gay teens carry out a high number of all teenage suicides. You may disapprove of what your friend is doing, but try to find it in yourself to accept who your friend is - a homosexual.
By supporting your friend through this difficult period, you have the opportunity to make a real difference in the life of a struggling person. Here are some concrete ways you can help:

  1. Find out if your friend has come out to his or her parents. If not, offer your support while your friend approaches this monumental task.
  2. Do not reveal anything about your friend's sexual orientation unless he or she has specifically given you the go-ahead.
  3. Protect your friend from cruel remarks from schoolmates or other people... at the very least, don't participate in such discussions. If you're worried about your own safety, consult an adult such as a school counselor.

Listen, listen, and listen - preferably without judgment. Take the opportunity to learn what it's like to be gay.



We Have Accepted Our Son Or Daughter But Why Must They Flaunt Their Sexuality?
This is the same as saying to my husband that he can't hold my hand in public because we will be flaunting our heterosexuality. What an absurd thing to say. Of course we can hold hands in public. Why not, we are a couple in love. So why can't my gay boys walk hand in hand with someone they love. Because society doesn't like it. But the only way this will change is for it to happen and people get used to it. Gay people are not doing anything we heterosexuals don't do. They are being themselves. Showing and receiving affection from someone you love is very important for our well-being.
In fact many gay people are more likely not to show affection in public because of the negativity that it may bring. Sometimes when our son or daughter comes out they may change the way they dress or cut their hair and this may be a shock to you. They are just feeling free to be who they are now they have come out. This may look like flaunting but again it's just being themselves.

There are a number or resources online a rather nice example is the Gay Family Support: website.